Maybe you have suspected for awhile that your spouse has been having an affair. You might be picking up those feelings that something is off with your spouse. A few weeks go by, you start feeling as if you might be going crazy or possibly just paranoid and start thinking to yourself, there’s no way my spouse is having an affair. You let it go but you still feel like something is wrong and it nags at you throughout the day. You toss and turn at night.

If you feel like your marriage might be in trouble or that your spouse could be possibly cheating, check out these top 10 signs your spouse has been having an affair.

10. Your gut starts to pick up that something is wrong.

I am sure that you did not expect to see that as the number one sign that your spouse is cheating. Think of it this way. Why are you even asking the question to yourself? Has your spouse stopped talking to you? Maybe you’re even finding random gifts appearing out of nowhere and your spouse is making up lies as to how they got them. When you start asking yourself this question or start feeling like something is off, you could be right.

Stressed woman holding her head next to her partner

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9. Acting or behaving unusual.

If your spouse starts to act or behave in a certain way, this is another sign that something might be going on. Some of the signs of unusual behavior might include them not wearing their wedding ring anymore. They might start making excuses as to why they cannot wear it. Other unusual behavior is when they start coming home late from work or going in early for no reason. There’s also times when their behavior just does not add up accordingly. They might be showing interest in you anymore or perhaps, they could be encouraging you to have some sort of social life and way to get out of the home. “Honey, why don’t you go out and meet up with some friends from work or church?” Does that sound familiar?


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8. When your spouse starts to use birth control pills.

I am sure that you did not even think about this one but have you recently found birth control pills hidden somewhere? This could mean one of two things: 1. Your spouse does not want to pregnant by the guy she’s having the affair with or 2. Your spouse does not want to get pregnant by you anymore. If you’ve had a vasectomy then you already know the answer.


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7. Putting on nice fragrances

You wake up the next morning, your spouse walks by you smelling nice. First, you think that it must be for you but then suddenly your spouse darts out the door. This might not be the only thing that they do differently. Instead of waking up to the smell of nice fragrances, they could come home and dart into the shower to try and wash off their smell. Another thing is that they might start wearing a brand new fragrance instead of their old one.


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6. Acting Uncomfortable When They Are Near You.

Did you just recently go to hug your spouse and they pulled away from you? Maybe you walked in the room and your spouse left it when they noticed you. Maybe they just don’t want to be anywhere near you at all. Your spouse might even be trying to sleep at different times to avoid being in the bedroom with you.


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5. Doesn’t Make Eye Contact

Does your spouse look you in the eye when talking or do they try to avoid eye contact? There can be lots of ways they can avoid eye contact. They could pull out their cell phone more and look at it instead of looking at you or they might pull out the newspaper and start reading it. Another way they might avoid eye contact is just by cutting you off in the middle of a sentence and leaving the room by making some excuse.



4. Checking their emails more or looking at their phone more often.

How often does your spouse want to look at their emails or check their text messages on their phone? In the middle of a movie does your spouse suddenly leave the room to make a phone call? When you’re in the middle of dinner does your spouse excuse themselves early to check their emails? When was the last time you had a conversation that did not involve your spouse looking at their phone? If you ask them to wait on checking their emails or text, how do they respond? Do they race to the phone and try to pick it up before you do?


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3. A variety of changes start to happen.

Your spouse might just start changing a lot in general. Did they just join the gym to try and lose weight? Maybe they are trying to change their appearance in other ways to look younger? They could even be going out more often to get their hair done or possible manicure. Other changes might include a sudden change with their music. They could suddenly love a genre of music that they have always hated beforehand.


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2. Skipping date night

Do the two of you have a special date night each week? Maybe it’s not called a date night but maybe just a date to spend some time together? Does it seem like lately each time the date night comes, they make some excuse to not attend? You know those excuses, “honey, I need to work that night” or either “I have a headache or sick” and sometimes “honey, I am just to tired”. Do those sound familiar?


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1. Not feeling the love with how they talk.

Did you just walk into the room and they snapped at you for no reason? Maybe they just asked recently if you could respect their privacy more. When was the last time they told you that they loved you and you could tell they actually meant and felt it? On the flip side, how does your spouse respond to them whenever you try to hold them and say that you love them? Do they back away and yell at you?


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Bonus: The credit card receipts might not add up right.

You pull out the check book and start reviewing the receipts and realize that things just don’t seem to be adding up right. Maybe there is a dinner that cost a lot of money and could look like it was for two but you weren’t there. Maybe gifts might have been purchased that you never received nor did your spouse mention them to you. What about your phone bill? Does the same number keep showing up?


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If your spouse is indeed cheating, it does not always mean that the relationship is over. Consider going to marriage counseling together and work things out. Be willing to hear their side of the story.