Over 18 million people in the USA suffer from depression. Some of the people who look the happiest might be the most miserable people on the inside. It can be very hard to tell when someone is depressed and you might not know until after you falling in love with them. Finding love can be hard enough and you know you don’t want to break up with someone just because they struggle with depression. What should you do when you find out you’re depressed? It can be very challenging to date a person that struggles with depression.
Check out these 10 Top Tips for Dating Someone With Depression
10. Schedule dates weekly
You don’t have to spend time with them daily but just scheduling ahead of time can help them. You don’t need to spend money each time you go out on a date. You can easily just watch movies, exercise together, go grocery shopping or simply just hang out and talk. Let them share what’s been happening with them this week. Don’t judge them. Just be there and listen. Sometimes they just need to talk and let things out. Maybe they also didn’t have anyone to talk with before you and so you just being there might help them.
9. Your lover is not weak just because they suffer with depression
A lot of people who happen to be very creative and extremely talented not to mention strong, can still suffer with depression. Don’t think that they are weak because they suffer with this. Experiencing depression does not make them inadequate or weak person. You nor your lover should not feel ashamed that they are struggling with depression. Just be patient, kind and understanding with them. Know they are doing the best that they can at that time.
8. Stop comparing the past with their current experience
It can be very easy to compare your past with someone when they are struggling. However, this is not good for the relationship. Comparing them might also make them feel worthless and a lot of other feelings. Don’t compare your past. Instead just encourage them and see how you can help them on the path that they are on now.
7. Accept that they might not be able to come off their medications
One mistake is someone who doesn’t suffer with depression might think that eventually the person could come off their meds if they date them. Know that this isn’t always the case. There are times when the doctor provides meds that could be temporary and in time, they might be able to come off them. Making them feel bad or guilty for taking meds can cause a lot of anger. Show your support with their medication and do not guilt talk with them with trying to come off their meds before they should.
6. Just because they are depressed doesn’t mean they feel numb
Depression can be experienced on different levels. Some people could feel as if they are numb inside and others might not feel numb at all. On the other hand, they might not feel numb for a few months but then it could suddenly hit them. Let them know that you’ll be there for them no matter what happens or what level of depression they might be in. Support them and see if they can talk about how they are feeling. If not, don’t push them to talk if they aren’t ready but don’t give up on them.
5. Don’t take it personally if they can’t talk about it
It’s very important to realize that while talking about it could help them sometimes they are just not ready to talk. It might not have anything to do with you personally. They might just need some space, a good night’s rest and just time to reflect upon some stuff. It might not have anything to do with what you’re thinking might be the cause of their depression. This is another reason as to why you should not take it personally.
4. Observe them and know their cues
Maybe they just need you to hug them. Other times they could just need you to get some coffee and cuddle with them and watch a movie without talking. Just because they are with you doesn’t mean they are ready to talk just yet. Respect the fact they just want to spend time with you but not in the mood for conversation. Make it a happy time but if they do start to cry just hug and be there for them. Crying also doesn’t mean they are ready to talk about things just yet.
3. Don’t talk about their diet or eating habits
Talking about their diet or eating habits could be the worst thing for them at this time. Instead, just be an example. Instead of getting pizza maybe make the salad and prepare a healthy meal but without saying anything. If you’re on a special diet or trying to change your eating style with doing thrive, wear the DFT on your arm but don’t make them feel guilty about not being on it. Let them come around on their own time.
2. Know the difference between clinical depression and being depressed
There is a difference between depression and being depressed. Clinical depression is a mood disorder that causes persistent feelings of being sad and losing interest in things. Being depressed might be that a co-worker might have said something that made them down. Clinical depression is the most severe form of depression. Join support groups online or locally to see how you can help your loved one if they have either ongoing depression or clinical depression.
1. Routines might change suddenly
If they are having a hard time, know that their energy level might change. This could cause them to cancel a date or change their routine. The main thing is to just always be there for them regardless of if they cancel the date or not. Hormones might go down during this time and no matter what you do, they might not get turned on by you. Again, just be there for them and don’t take everything personally.
You might want to see if there is therapy the two of you can take especially if they have clinical depression. Don’t give up and be ready for things to suddenly change but know they still love and also care for you.